So I'm a designer, so patina—very important. That shows an age of an object. You know, it shows what an object's been through. You can see the levels of decay but also the history. So you feel the history of an object in its patina. And if our faces and our skin are you know, and if our eyes are the patina of our experience, then you know I wanna reflect the experiences I've had.
I don't wanna look like I did when I was 24. I didn't know anything you know? Now you wanna know me now. I feel better about myself now at 44 than I have ever felt in my life.
What I believe the human experiences is, is really a day to day experience.
I feel like all the preparation that I've done to hit this age is only just gonna be careening into like this is the spaceship I've built and now I'm going off to you know, parts unknown.
Messages that I absorbed growing up about how women were supposed to look all felt very foreign to me. I knew that the norm of society wasn't something that I was a part of or could even be capable of taking advantage of.
So I always sort of sought myself as an outsider when it came to what I thought other people's view of beauty was. A lot because the role models that we have when we were going up. You know, I can look at the people around me and say, "Well, I... you know, she has aspects about her that I aspire to.”
But a lot of the input that we get from the media is showing a very limited view of what that can look like.
Stereotypes and you know, the television and the advertising that's out there right now is really I think trying to make us feel less. To make us feel like we need something from them in order to feel better. And they show that story very, very clearly you know, that if you do this then you'll feel better.
Well, but they have to make me feel bad first. Conflict sells tickets you know, there has to be something wrong so that they can fix it, so that we can turn to them to fix it.
So the more that we are divided the easier we are to control. And if you split women aside from you know, women apart from women by making some of them attractive and some of them not attractive, you split them up into two groups that they will never unite you know, because one has something to defend.
It's a scarcity mindset that there is not enough love to go around.
The journey I took to break free from that was long and you know, really encompasses the whole...the breadth of my experience. The inner work that I've done to become more comfortable with myself, the breathwork you know, yoga, getting in touch with my body and feeling more comfortable with myself you know, is really the key.
I did that work on the inside of myself you know. I questioned a lot of things and I had to go really deep to question those assumptions that I had made without knowing.
I feel sexy. Now, I feel sexy. I always felt sexy but like I always felt like that sexy was like it was the bad girl or like because I didn't know what role I was gonna play. You know what I mean?
What role would I play on the TV of you know, in my life like what...am I the spunky best friend or...?
You know, and like I wanted to be this sort of powerful badass that sort of took charge but also was sexy and was beautiful and could carry yourself with grace. I think I'm sexier now than I ever was as a 24-year-old for sure, you know what I mean?
I had something about me, you know. There was always something about me, but now I own it. The shape that I am in now reflects the work that I've done to get here, but the look on my face reflects the work that I've done in here to feel good about it no matter what it looks like, you know.
So now, I love everything about my body unconditionally. It works.
Stop tucking your stomach in! That is a big one you know, there—all of our self-esteem is right here. Take a deep breath, fill out your clothes, feel your body. You know, it's yours. It's not supposed to look like anything at all, it just wants to feel healthy.
Growing older isn't something you should be ashamed of, isn't something you should hide you know. Growing older is something you need to take into account while you're moving through this life you know.
There's some things that are gonna age and decay, and there's some things that you can keep in good condition if you're careful you know.
Anybody's had an object you know, a loved object. You take care of it, you know? You take care of the things that you love.
And if we start to love ourselves a little bit more, we take care of ourselves a little bit more and take some of that power back into our own hands through nutrition and exercise and you know, products that support our cellular structures because they've done some work.
There's people that have done that research, I don't need to. I don't need to make my own skincare line, she's done it for me. So, thanks.
0:04 I’m a designer, so patina is important 0:44 Feel better now at 44 than ever 0:53 My body is the spaceship I’ve built 1:05 Messages about beauty felt foreign to me 1:43 Media says we need to fix ourselves 2:22 Media divides us so we’re easier to control 2:45 Inner work: The journey I took to love myself 3:20 Now I feel sexier than ever 4:27 My advice for higher self-esteem 4:47 Growing older is not something to hide 5:07 Take care of your body like a loved object