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Polly’s Story: Living without Deadlines at 61
"I would say the big shift is into being, more being less doing or when I'm doing, being more as I'm doing."
For Polly, being 61 means living without deadlines.
She’s no longer in a hurry to get married or achieve the next big thing in her career. Instead, she’s free to be her authentic self, and just enjoy the journey of her life.
Watch the video to hear Polly’s story.
Video Transcript:
Hi, I’m Polly. I’m 61 and a half.
It feels amazing. It feels great because I don’t feel as if I’m on any deadlines anymore. I feel as if my life is really my own, I’ve made a lot of choices that have brought me to this place. And it’s kind of freeing to not have to worry about, will I graduate from school? Will I get married? Will I have children? Will I be successful at my job? And just be who you are. It’s very freeing.
The choices that I’ve made that have brought me to this place are: I had my children late. I had my children in my 40s. I got married in my 40s.
I had the opportunity in my 20s and 30s to travel around the world as an international correspondent on television, and to see things that I think I might not have been able to see or do if I had decided to settle down early.
That has made me feel that I’m not in a big hurry now, to do the things I didn’t do because I did a lot of things already.
I’m single now, so I get to choose my friends and the people that I date based upon a whole different set of factors than one does when one is younger. You’re looking when you’re in your 20s for who you’re gonna marry or settle down with that maybe your parents approve of, that maybe wants children or doesn’t want children, that maybe has the same background that you do or lives in the same kind of community or lifestyle that you do. Now, you don’t have to worry about that anymore. Now, your choices are purer, at least for me they’re purer. It seems more authentic now.
When I was in my 20s, I would think a lot about whether somebody liked me or whether I was attractive enough. And now, I think more about whether I like them.
Life is more of a journey now, instead of a destination. I’m not always looking for the next thing, trying to beat a deadline, trying to achieve something. I feel like I’ve done a lot of good things and I’m gonna do a lot more great things, but I feel less of a sense of urgency.
A woman has to be beautiful from the inside. There is no way that you can be beautiful if you are a static object with perfect features sitting in the corner not talking to anybody.
You are beautiful when you are a kind and loving person, when you listen to other people, when you feel comfortable in your own skin, when you’re confident, when you enjoy life, when you love the people that you have chosen to have in your life, all of that makes you beautiful. Mascara doesn’t make you beautiful. Being an authentic, kind, loving human being makes you beautiful, I think.
What makes me feel vital is to exercise a lot, to run, to do barre classes. It makes me feel vital to, you know, stay up that extra hour to help my kids with their homework. It makes me feel vital to jump on an airplane and go somewhere spontaneously. It makes me feel vital to write, and to act, and to be creative.
So I had an acting coach who said something that I’ll never forget. He said, “I’m 59, I’m gay, I’m 5’6″, I’m 165 pounds. And when I go on set I embody that, I don’t hide from it.” And I think about that a lot. So I am, you know, I’m 5-foot-6-inches, I’m 128 pounds, I’m 61 years old, I’m straight, I have two kids, I live in New York. And when I go to work, that’s who I am. It’s not something I hide from.
I am proud to be 61.
Video Highlights
0:03 Living without deadlines feels amazing.
0:35 Marriage and kids in her 40s
1:11 Single now: Dating choices are purer at 61
2:09 Life is a journey now, not a destination.
2:29 A woman’s beauty has to come from the inside.
2:45 You are beautiful when you’re kind and loving.
3:18 What makes her feel vital: Exercise, travel, etc.
3:47 Embody who you are. Don’t hide from it.
4:24 Proud to be who I am. Proud to be 61.