How to Tell Your Truths (and Fearlessly Be Yourself)

At BOOM!, we are all about living authentically.

We believe life is as an ongoing process of expansion and growth, and it’s an opportunity to get more and more grounded in who we really are.

There are a million ways to do this. Sometimes, life hands us these opportunities. When we least expect it, we have new experiences that give us flashes of insight.

Often, life gives us challenges that test us. These challenges push us far outside our comfort zone, and show us our strengths and wisdom that we never knew we had. Just meeting these challenging experiences with authenticity and courage helps us grow. It expands our self-knowledge, and teaches us more about who we really are in our uniqueness.

And sometimes, the choices we make—especially about how we express ourselves—can radically accelerate our growth. These choices ground us into deeper authenticity, and put us in direct contact with who we really are.

Society is changing, but the “rules” still exist.

We live in a time when women are getting more and more expressive. We now have more courage to speak our truths, to tell our stories, to articulate our desires, to communicate our visions, and to say exactly who we are.

For too long, our society was scared of women’s stories. Especially when they broke the norm. This is changing, but the societal “rules” are still there. These rules especially apply to women as we age. If you look around, you see these rules reflected in messages everywhere. These messages tell us to “act our age,” or not to talk about things that are bold, out-of-the-box, uncomfortable or “unseemly.”

But telling our truths is an incredibly important part of living authentically. It’s a crucial part of being who we really are. When we feel liberated to express ourselves—in a way that feels honest and authentic to us—that brings with it enormous freedom and joy.

As we know, when we feel wonderful on the inside, it radiates through to the outside. A woman who feels liberated to tell her own truth is a woman who glows. And there’s nothing more beautiful than that.

The problem is we all constantly hear messages discouraging us from speaking our truth—especially if it might make someone else uncomfortable! So how can we practice tuning out these messages and do the opposite? Here are a few things to experiment with…

Take baby steps.

You don’t have to go running out to strangers telling them every single thing about your most deeply held truths. (Unless that’s your thing!)

Comfort zones are comfortable for a reason, and it’s not necessary to be more self-disclosing than feels good. But it’s still great to stretch a little. It can be really freeing.

So try starting with what feels easier to lift. Go a little deeper with a close friend than you have before. Talk to your partner about an issue that may not be that big a deal, but it would feel great to not just “swallow” or “let it slide.”

Try offering your opinion more at work, in a setting where the stakes aren’t make-or-break. Talk politics or religion with beloved friends, if you don’t usually—with an attitude of curiosity.

Know that trust is contagious.

When you make the leap to tell a little more of your own truth than you’re used to, it gives other women permission to do the same.

Social scientists know this: when one person in a group self-discloses, it radically increases the frequency of others doing the same. That’s because trust is contagious. When one woman steps out with her truth, it builds intimacy and creates a kind of permission in the room. And other women start telling their truths too—and it just multiplies.

See what happens if you’re the one to tell your truth first. You might find that everyone else meets you there—and that it feels great.

Remember the power of story.

Stories are incredibly powerful. Our brains are wired to respond to it.

When someone tells us a story, we automatically identify with the main character in that story, and we “feel” their journey. That process connects us—deeply. It’s how we understand each other. So when you tell your story, truthfully and bravely, it has a real emotional impact on the people around you.

Story transforms us. It connects us. When you share your story, you create connections in your world that might not have been there before. And that’s a beautiful thing.

How have you learned to tell more of your truth and express yourself fully as you’ve aged? Let us know in the comments!