You don’t have to go running out to strangers telling them every single thing about your most deeply held truths. (Unless that’s your thing!)
Comfort zones are comfortable for a reason, and it’s not necessary to be more self-disclosing than feels good. But it’s still great to stretch a little. It can be really freeing.
So try starting with what feels easier to lift. Go a little deeper with a close friend than you have before. Talk to your partner about an issue that may not be that big a deal, but it would feel great to not just “swallow” or “let it slide.”
Try offering your opinion more at work, in a setting where the stakes aren’t make-or-break. Talk politics or religion with beloved friends, if you don’t usually—with an attitude of curiosity.
Know that trust is contagious.
When you make the leap to tell a little more of your own truth than you’re used to, it gives other women permission to do the same.
Social scientists know this: when one person in a group self-discloses, it radically increases the frequency of others doing the same. That’s because trust is contagious. When one woman steps out with her truth, it builds intimacy and creates a kind of permission in the room. And other women start telling their truths too—and it just multiplies.
See what happens if you’re the one to tell your truth first. You might find that everyone else meets you there—and that it feels great.
Remember the power of story.
Stories are incredibly powerful. Our brains are wired to respond to it.
When someone tells us a story, we automatically identify with the main character in that story, and we “feel” their journey. That process connects us—deeply. It’s how we understand each other. So when you tell your story, truthfully and bravely, it has a real emotional impact on the people around you.
Story transforms us. It connects us. When you share your story, you create connections in your world that might not have been there before. And that’s a beautiful thing.
How have you learned to tell more of your truth and express yourself fully as you’ve aged? Let us know in the comments!